October 7, 2011

I have always had trouble with the question of dreams. Of all the kids in class that wanted to be firefighters, or teachers, or moms, or the President of the United States of America…  I was always the one that would look confused and say, “I don’t know!” Even deciding my major was difficult because I still couldn’t point to what I wanted to do with my life. Even now, after picking a major, and seeing God leading me towards missions, I still have trouble defining my dreams.

                Just as Miller says, what makes an epic story epic is the fact that something is impossible. But not just that; the true determining factor of a great story is why an impossibility is approached. Why does the protagonist try to overcome the difficulty? I want my story to be epic. But my problem is simply figuring out what my story is about. And I think that is a great part of the story. I mean, Miller’s entire book is about discovering his dream and then, only then, can he begin to go after that dream. Over half his book is written depicting the search for a dream, the search for some motivation to get him off the couch.

                So then I wonder, what makes me want to get off the couch? People do—and the idea that people around the world live every day without knowledge of the best thing that could happen to them. It’s a thought that truly makes my heart hurt. Helping people, Christians and non-Christians, grow closer to God and demonstrating God’s love to them is what makes me feel alive. So, I guess that is my dream. How cliché. Isn’t this the type of dream that every Christian around the world should have?  Is not each and every Christian called to spread God’s love to everyone? Does the fact that my dream is the same, or should be the same, as every other Christian’s in the entire world somehow negate it? I think not. And although other people may have different dreams that feed into the necessity to share Christ’s salvation, I know that God will lead my heart to receive the dream He wants for me when He wants me to have it. I can wait, because that’s part of the story.

Sept30

A huge audience in my life has been my family. They are great, but I also am constantly aware of what they would think or say of my actions. Of course, there are also people at school—students and teachers— as well as friends, neighbors, and even strangers.

Does performing for an audience of one mean eliminating all other audiences? I don’t think that performing for an audience of one means ignoring what others think or say. In many aspects of life, God uses other humans to speak His truth and guide us or correct us. So, to completely ignore others’ ideas about ones actions is not necessarily the correct way to put this idea into practice. What Guinness is saying, however, is that if God really is approving of what we do, it doesn’t matter what others think. Other audience shouldn’t be eliminated, but their feedback should be looked at to see if it is God’s truth, or something meant to discourage and bring down. I love the quote by Gordon that says, “If He [God] smiles on you, neither the smile or frown of men can affect you.” It is the essence of ‘If God is for us, who can be against us.’

However, it’s one thing to agree with a quote. It’s an entirely different matter to put it into practice and really let an idea change you from the core. This is something I struggle with immensely. I want to be liked; I want people to agree with me. So, I honestly can’t give a good answer. It’s one thing to say, “Just don’t care about what people think you,” and a completely different one to actually live it out. But, I think the best answer to this struggle is to discover more and more of our identity in Christ. Although none of us will truly always be able to perform for an audience of one, I feel that if each of us sees how great God’s love is for us, how important He is in our lives and how permanent His opinion on things, all the supposed importance of other people’s ideas will fade away. God needs to be more than enough.

In view of this chapter and the idea of an Audience of One, should we completely disregard what people around us think if our actions? How can we apply this thought to the idea of gaining wisdom and knowledge from those who are older than us? How can we focus on only God’s opinion and not disregard wise, mature Christians’ opinions in the process?

Rising to the Call (Sept21)

What does Oswald Chambers mean when he says ‘The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him”? (39-40)  What are some of the examples of ways students might allow service to Jesus to interfere with devotion to Jesus?  

So often in Christian circles, the focus is placed on how we live our lives. It seems that so many times, if people are serving in the church, teaching Sunday school, or doing other worthy Christian activities, they are viewed as serving Christ. However, God sees into our hearts and, honestly, none of that service matters at all to Him if we do not love Him while we do it. Many times, the desire to demonstrate love for Christ is fulfilled through service, yet that same service can leave us exhausted and burnt out. When actions take greater importance over pure love for our Savior, there is a problem. Many people get caught up in serving Christ instead of loving him. Guinness addresses this issue when he says our first calling, to God, must be reestablished in place of secondary calling. In essence, Christians’ first calling is to love God, and our secondary calling is to live for him. We often get that mixed up. Devotion, in part, is being willing to do whatever a person asks of you and when we are too caught up in the work we think we need to be doing for God, we don’t stop and look at what He wants us to be doing, or to where he wants to lead us. I feel that serving Jesus, for example leading chapel worship, often takes the place of focusing on God and what His will for us is.

MMTY response Sept 14

After reading Chapter 12, reflect on change. You have changed since you came to JBU: this is inevitable, because you are adapting to new experiences, and are on a new journey. Reflect on yourself and describe how you have changed within the past month.

Who am I? I am a Christian, striving to live my entire life for the glory of Christ. I am an 18 year old little girl. I am a college student, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I am either bossy or responsible, depending on if it is my siblings or my parents who are describing me. I am compassionate and kind, always looking for ways to include others and make them feel loved. But I am also more than that.

Over the past month, I have most changed by knowing more thoroughly who I am. I have always been an independent person and completely confident of my importance and value in Christ. However, my identity has also been placed deeply in my family and my interactions with them. Now that I no longer am living with my dad, I am not late all the time. Because I no longer live with my sister, I am not the spokesperson for the two of us, but now only for myself. My brother is not around so I no longer have to be the voice of reason that keeps the both of us living to see another day. I have grown up because now I have to shop for myself, organize myself, and take care of bills and the mix-ups that come with them.

Most of all, however, I am intentionally opening my eyes up the difficult questions of life. Instead of acknowledging them, thinking ‘Oh, that’s confusing,’ and simply filing it away deep within my brain, am pausing more to consider and ponder them. I would like to think that, even in this short period of time, I have become more thoughtful and more analytical of hard questions that don’t necessarily have one right answer. I am growing.

According to Miller, we can’t live without stories, and we all follow after some story or another. What is/are some stories that have shaped your journey?

As a Christian, the story that has most molded my life is obviously that of my relationship with Christ. I acknowledged that I was a sinner and couldn’t get to heaven without Jesus’ salvation at a young age—so young that my only memory of it is because my mom has told me about it. Nonetheless, it was a real and permanent decision for me.

I went to church all my life, but really started growing and searching for Christ on my own once I entered seventh grade. At eleven I was baptized and spent the next two years continuing to broaden my knowledge of Him. When I was thirteen, my family moved down south, way south, to Ecuador. That was probably the best thing that could have happened to deepen my relationship with the Lord. He really gave me a heart for the people and, because I couldn’t speak Spanish and therefore didn’t learn much from the church services, had to begin to rely on my own quiet time with God to grow. Living in a country that is so needy for Christ’s salvation, opened my eyes to how privileged I am to have it, how valuable my knowledge is, and how desperately others around the world need to be told.

Returning to the US for senior year taught me that, even in the good ol’ U.S. of A. there people who haven’t heard and people who are very lost. It demonstrated to me that the mission field truly is wherever God has placed me. Now, at John Brown, my walk continues to grow as I make important decisions, about faith and about life, even more for myself than when I was with my family. God is working here in me to shape me into who I am supposed to be for the continuance of my journey wherever He leads. How exciting!

Response to MMTY

Any time I am ever asked to write about an important event in my life, I always find myself returning to my move to Loja, Ecuador, South America. Granted, it was an incredibly life-changing event for me, but nonetheless I always try to come up with a new, more original topic than this now overly used subject. But after thinking for quite a while and having no success, I instead began to wonder what made this experience so meaningful. To be honest, I don’t even really remember the plane ride- that one, symbolic, most pivotal moment of my entire life. I remember wanting to walk around instead of sitting strapped to my seat; I remember wondering ‘how much longer until we get there’- over and over and over again.

No, it’s not the plane ride that is so important. It’s the memories of the struggle leading up to it, and the triumph that followed. It’s kind of silly, really. I mean, my memory is so important because of the memories leading up to it? But yes, just like in a good book, the climax and triumph of the main character is only complete and satisfying because of the knowledge of what has gone on in the past, and the hope for what will happen in the future.

The importance of that move comes from the memory of the seven moves in two months; it’s the goodbyes and the tears; it’s the nervousness and genuine fright of the unknown. And yet, it’s most memorable because, even during that uncertain time, the sense of God’s overwhelming love, care and guidance for my family stands out above it all. God, really experiencing His love for me, is what made this memory what it is. Now, throughout my entire life, no matter where I am in life, whom I’m with, or what language is being spoken, I know full well that following God’s plan for my life is what makes any experience memorable.